Love Letters - 7 Days

It's one week into the 28 Days of Love Letters movement that I started at my restaurant. So far the responses have ranged from general confusion to sincere gratitude. I haven't been there to witness each and every recipient open the card or hear the reaction, but I'll share the ones I know.

One - The Older Couple

This pair in their late 50s-early 60s, I'd guess, received my first love letter in the restaurant. I set it on table 43 at the beginning of the dinner rush and no one saw me. I kept buzzing past their table, glancing to see if they had found it and opened it. Finally, I saw it lying open on the table. They stated to their server that it was really nice, but gave no indication that they knew or cared where it came from. Which was nice. That's kind of the point. A random act of kindness from a random person. Doesn't matter who.

Two - The Menu Mistake

A party of four adults in their late 40s, I'd guess, sat down to dinner. I had slipped a love letter inside one of the menus in a kind of Russian Roulette move. Who would get it? I'd never know. But the host knew which one it was and what table it ended up on. The gentleman who found it tucked inside his menu kept the menu in front of him on the table for his entire meal. Everyone else happily surrendered their menus when the server collected them, but his lay under his unwrapped silverware and the server didn't want to ask about it. Finally, at the very end of his meal, he said to his server, "I found this in my menu." He was very confused about it. The server said, "Yes, that's for you." She was a cheerful girl who is very supportive of the Love Lettering Movement. She attempted to explain the idea behind it but it ended up being very awkward and I think they left more confused than anything. From then on, I have been coaching the crew to play dumb if their guests ask about it and just say, "I don't know. It looks like it's for you!" I'm also no longer placing the letters in menus (with the exception of possibly Valentine's Day) because it seems too direct - as if I have hand-picked that person to be the recipient - and it makes it appear that it is from the host team, which gets awkward.

Three - Left Behind

At least two tables have left behind the card, after having opened it. Maybe they are trying to be nice and brighten the day of the next person to sit there. Maybe they just don't give a crap. I take the card and put it in a new envelope and, essentially, re-gift it. It bums me out when they leave it behind though.

Four - Caught in the Act

The dinner rush had just started and I picked an empty table that had people sitting all around it. I thought I could be sly about it. First, I visited the couple at table 404, right next to my target table - for one, I wanted to make sure they were enjoying their visit with us, and for two, I wanted to seem less conspicuous. Then I did the same for the nice family at booth 402 right across from the target table. No one seemed to notice when I went to table 403 and slid the card inside the drink menu sitting on the table. I turned to walk away, but something stopped me. What if the people who sit there don't find it? It was pretty well hidden in the menu. Stupidly, I turned around to fix it, to make sure whoever sat there next would be sure to find it. I pulled it out from between the pages of the menu and I leaned it against the salt & pepper shaker, facing out so they would see it as soon as they sat down. Pleased with this new placement, I turned around to see the man at table 404 staring right at the card. Son of a biscuit! Busted. I walked away, embarrassed, praying that they would finish eating before 403 got sat so my cover wouldn't be blown. Luckily that's just what happened. Hopefully they just thought I was placing the card there for a guest for a birthday celebration or something, like one might put flowers on a table to surprise a loved one at the guest's request.

Five - The Young Couple

I got to see a 20-something couple receive one of the love letters. I definitely expected it to go over very well with them. I feel like this More Love Letters thing is more tailored toward a younger generation. Or maybe just those folks not hardened by age, or circumstance, or the apathy of strangers. They seemed pleased. They didn't mention anything about it to their server. And they took it with them. Maybe they looked up the website. Maybe they showed all their friends. Maybe they tweeted it and shared it on facebook. Maybe they're writing love letters to strangers right now as I type this! One can hope.

Negative Feedback

I have received a small amount of negative feedback. One server who was sweetly encouraging me said that some of the other servers have said, "Don't you think that's a little creepy?" She defended the idea, saying "I think it's beautiful! It's so positive and uplifting and people should share more random acts of kindness and less negativity."

A boss always expects at least a little negative feedback from her crew. It's just human nature. I wasn't expecting it from my own colleague, however. But that's what I got when I looked in the manager log and saw this note scribbled: "Do you really think this love letter thing is a good idea?" I took a long time thinking about what he said. I considered the fact that if my boss - the General Manager - had not been out on medical leave, he probably would have nixed this idea. It is radical, outrageous, something totally different. He's not big on change, my boss. And that's okay. The world needs people like him. Our crew needs that stability. But we also need something to change the culture in our restaurant. We need to get our teammembers to understand what is at the heart and soul of what we do - Our Guests! Making them happy in all the ways we can. I don't expect everyone to be in love with the idea of writing letters to strangers. But I've got to do something to get them to understand that it's not about the tips or the paycheck, it's not about coming to work to get the job done and go home - it's about being a part of our guests' lives. It's about making a difference in our community. It's about getting our restaurant to be a household name. And, more than anything, it's about making people happy. 

Those few words of negativity nearly convinced me to give up the whole idea. The irony of that is not lost on me - a scribbled note of criticism about my notes of love? Yeah. The world definitely needs more love letters. It needs more people spreading kindness and words of affirmation and positive thinking. I doubted myself all night and almost didn't put out any love letters. I wished that there was someone I could talk to about it, but I didn't want to share with any member of my crew a private matter between myself and my colleague that might make us seem like a less united front - we are a team of managers and I won't let us appear to be anything less. Still, I kept wishing someone would make me feel better, kept wishing someone would tell me that this IS a good idea. Knowing I would just have to make myself feel better, I gave myself a pep talk and grabbed my letters - one for a guest, one for a teammember - and I dropped the first off on an empty table and hid the second in a glass rack in the drink station. When I returned to the office later, I found a note had been slipped under my door. Someone had granted my wish. It was a letter from a teammember, saying how much they loved this idea and a lot of flattering words about me. I meant to take a photo of the letter but I forgot to before I left. Update: I was able to snap a photo of it. Here it is:

 I took that nice letter - the letter I so needed to receive - and I hung it up on the bulletin board in the managers office. I wanted my colleague to see it - to see why I am doing this. It's working.

"A person with a new idea is a crank until the idea succeeds." - Mark Twain